himehelene

What a boring day..

2008-12-14T22:25:18Z

I feel like i having been posting for a while,
so just to post at least something,
i am going to blurb out what is on my mind at the moment :)

so it is almost christmas, and i have a medium amount of things planed :)
medium as in a few family lunches, christmas eve, work and new years.
i am looking forward to all of it, and i have ordered TONS of stuff including 3 christmas presents and a new years dress :D

i am currently in a realtionship, and it is actually going great :D
despite the ugly things between me and my ex, he is being kinda immature at the moment..
i mean, at first he is telling his ex-bestfriend what a bore i am, and then he is telling me he misses the days with me?
can he please decide to hate or love me?
but all in all, me and my boyfriend is in a great relationship :)

what is up with birthcontrol pills?
like, messing up my period?
i am not too thin, so that cannot be the reason (52-53kg, 165cm)
i don not want to have bigger hips or gain weight in that area, or gain weight at all to be honest
actually, i would like to weigh around 50,5 or less..
in my mind thin is beautiful, not anorexic, just skinny/thin
if i weighed 50,5 my body mass index would be 18,5, which is just between underweight and normal weight..
tonight i was on the scale (i know in the morning is better) and i weighed 52,8, and that makes my BMI 19,3
18,5 - 25 is normalweight
ugh!
like, my boyfriend's BMI is 17,7! he is 2m/71kg..
i kinda envy him, please don not tell me i should not.

generally what is on my mind at the moment;
my weight and appercance, school (exam on thursday), boyfriend and christmas

Why do people have feelings?

2008-11-07T14:14:37Z

It is annoying how you can try an convince yourself that you are over a crush on a certain person, and then when you meet them, you realize that you aren't..

I HATE IT!

Today.. I was sitting in the bus on my way home, when a guy comes in, that I once had "random-sex-because-you-were-both-drunk-and-attracted-to-each-other-which-could-have-lead-to-being-a-longer-one-night-stand-with-no-feelings-involved" but I was too nervous, and too conscious about the way I look, and I always cancelled when he asked me to come over.
He was and still is irresistible gorgeous I my eyes, half Vietnamese and not too thin or to fat or fit.
I did say hello, I did sound like, "hey-nice-to-see-you-you-look-good-and-i-totally-don't-care-that-you-have-a-gorgeous-asian-girlfriend-now" and I did look out of the window like it didn't matter, and we did just sit there not talking to each other, and I did only feel my heart beating and the smell of him creep into my nose and I didn’t try to stop it as the coward I am..
I had a plan to get off the bus sooner so that I could catch the next bus, but again, as the coward I am, I waited to the next stop to get off at the same time he got off. Not because he stopped there, but because I was might still able to catch that bus.

Now.. I hate myself for even being on the bus, for even liking him in the first place, for even making him stop trying to get me over, for even having sex with this.. this creature!

I hate that I can’t see how much my beautiful boyfriend loves me and how much I love him and just be done with the guy. And I hate that even though I try, I still can’t forget how he smells and how he tastes and how pretty he thought I was. And I hate that I can’t get over that one-night-stand-that-would-have-lead-to-more, so I wouldn’t have missed my bus.

Happy Helene :D

2008-09-13T21:38:50Z

So..
to sum up what has been happening since i last posted:
i told the guy i like, that i like him..
and he just said "shit Helene"
"why didn't you tell me that before"
and he told me that he still liked me,
and that i should have said it before, and that he hated that he had done that with the other girl..
and that it would be difficult to choose, cause there was no other way out than to choose..
so he told me the day after that, that he had to stop the flirt he had with the other girl;
that was last saturday; and at this wednesday, we got together :) :D
and i am as happy as can be for now :D
ANDDD!
i'm going to see coldplay tomorrow :D yaaay
i'm sooo looking forward to it :D

i am giving up soon

2008-09-03T20:52:14Z

I can't compete with her
she's pretty
sweet
probably funny
everything i'm not
and on top of that,
i'm pretty sure he doesn't think i'm attractive in any way
anymore

the tiny question is;
am i ready to a relationship?
i AM a flirtatious person
i can't help it
but i am pretty sure i am ready..
there's some cute guys in school
can i let that go?
i'm not 100% sure
do i have a chance?
i think not
i know, if i had a chance
that they would decieve me
because i'm no where near fabulous
the only one i think i could trust in a relationship
is him, my best friend..

sorry fer being pathetic, again..

jealousy

2008-08-28T11:03:10Z

I'm Pathetic
just plain Pathetic

i'm jealous of a girl i don't even know, cause she's kissing with my best friend. i don't even have the right to be jealous!
i'm in love with him, i must be..
seriosly..
at first, when we weren't great friends, i was flirting with him, alot! and because he never reacted in any way, i gave up, and just became good friends with him.. and then i find out, that he is in love with me! just as i "paused" liking him as more, than a friend. i said to him that i didn't like him as more than a friend currently, and he just said "i have to respect that".. we have been great friends since then, and we both started in new schools. now i like him again, and i don't think he likes me like that anymore, since now he seems to be really in love with a girl in his class :S can you see how this is frustrating? but then again i don't want to ruin our friendship, if we were to break up.. a little part of me, the most evil one, wants them to be together, and then break up again.. there's sooo many mixed emotions, like, i want to not care if they did hook up, but i just can't, not right now, it takes time..

silly silly me, i'm Pathetic..

i've dropped it

2008-08-03T22:54:48Z

i've dropped to write what i've done every day..
but one thing i CAN tell you is that
on july 22th a bird flew into my head
that's right x)
a bird flew right into my head, it didn't hurt though :P

and today i hurt someone's feelings..
my friend thought that i liked him fer more than a friend
because his friend had said so
it is really sad, cause i do like him, but only as a friend..

in Paris :)

2008-07-21T10:48:02Z

Paris is great :D
been to several places already :)

14-07-08

We were at the airport pretty early, so we could fly with the airplain at 11:45
but then it said that there had been a delay, so we had to wait until 12:45 :(
a little later, it got really frustrating 'cause it now said that we had to wait until 15:30!
then it changed to 16:30, and at the end to 17:00... because of technical problems, they said..
seriously annoying, i don't think i've ever been so annyoed or impatient in my intire life..
but we got there eventually :) and the flight went smooth from there
we got to the apartment with a moonlight taxi-driver, afraid all the way there if he'd steal our bags or something :S :)
later, because of the bastille-day, we went to the eiffel-tower, to see fireworks, and it was pretty :D and the place was crowded!
there were like thousands and thousands of people, i think 20000, waiting to see the fireworks, and by every second ticking by, more people arrived x)
then we went home and got a good nights sleep :)

i'll write in all the days when i get home :D
right now, there's only 7 days left, with today :)

english

2008-07-13T10:49:20Z

i better start writing in english :)
due to the fact that only danes would know what i was talking about earlier x)
so yeah, just to sum up;
i'm going to Paris from the 14th to the 27th
it is going to be great i hope :D
sooo many shops to visit and things to try :D
lalalalalala
and today i'm going to see a friend, since i kinda ended up with his scarf, and i forgot to give it back to him :S
yeah, not so great, but it gives me a reason to just, hang out with him x)
everything's going to be
oh, so cake~

Parisu!! :D

2008-07-12T09:39:23Z

Så er det snart dagen hvor jeg skal af sted til Paris :D
det er første gang jeg skal flyve og første gang jeg er i paris, selvom jeg har været i frankrig rigtig mange gange :D
jeg har ikke lige fået opdateret min liste af butikker jeg skal ind i, og det gør jeg nok heller ikke, i må bare vente og se til jeg har været der, taget billeder, og postet det her inde :)

Jeg tager af sted på MANDAG!
d. 14-07
og kommer hjem igen
d. 27-07

YouTube?!

2008-07-05T15:46:42Z

jeg kan blive så forfærdeligt træt af, alle de folk der skal disse en på youtube, bare fordi man siger at man ikke kan lide en sang eller en film eller whatever...
de folk der gør sådan, kunne i det mindste sige et eller andet med, "ja du har ret til din mening, dog er jeg ikke enig" eller "jeg kan godt se hvad du mener, jeg mener dog det modsatte"
men nej!
de skal absolut give en thumbs down og sige man er åndsvag osv., FORHELVEDE
jeg har ret til min mening, du skal fandme ikke sige sådan noget pis... AHRHHGGG

det var dejligt at få det sagt :)

ændring af planer :)

2008-07-02T22:40:25Z

jeg har valgt at gemme min opsparing til jeg finder den rette female dukke :D
Ize må vente, jeg håber ikke han udgår i det stykke tid :(

well...
jeg tager til PARIS d. 14. juli :D
yay
og jeg skal så meget ind i de mange forskellige shops der nede :D
det bliver bare über skønt :D
jeg skal være der i 14 dage
og hvis jeg kommer forbi en netcafe eller sådan noget, så vil der helt klart blive opdateret her inde! :D
shops jeg skal besøge:
*Baby, the stars shine bright!*
*Harajuku*
*Boddywood*
*Gavilane*
listen vil blive opdateret så snart jeg finde andre jeg skal ind i :D

jeg tror jeg går i seng ;)
måske skriver jeg her inde i morgen igen :D

i gang med at spare op :)

2008-05-22T16:29:33Z

yay
jeg kommer længere og længere med min opsparing :)
eftersom jeg fik en billigere cykel i fødselsdags gave end først forventet, får jeg nogle penge af min mutter til min opsparing :D yay
jeg er rigtig glad :) Ize er snart min, og kan blive kaldt YUTA :D
uha uha
så skal der sys fint tøj og tages billeder af ham :) og bagefter fortsætter min opsparing til en pige, der skal være hans søster, også en SD :)

Opsparing til forskellige ting :)

2008-05-01T17:54:43Z

ABJD fra SoulDoll: 687$ med fors.
Rocking Horse shoes: 62$ med fors.
Lolita kjole fra Body Line: 122$
Alice in Wonderland kjole: 87$
Smykkeskrin fra Victorian Maiden: 56$

så langt/i alt:
424,48$/1014$
589,52 to go

2000Dkr/4777,56Dkr
2777,56 to go